There’s a particular kind of grief that shows up before the actual loss—a quiet, often confusing ache that many people feel when a loved one’s life is nearing its end. Maybe you’re watching a family member go through palliative care, or you're a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s, heart failure, or another life-limiting illness. The loss hasn’t happened yet, but your heart is already grieving.

This is anticipatory grief—a very real and deeply human emotional response to loss. It can feel like sadness, denial, even guilt or helplessness. And if you’re feeling it, please know: you’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong.

In this article, we’ll gently explore:

What anticipatory grief is and why it matters
Common symptoms and what you may feel
How to deal with anticipatory grief as a carer or loved one
When to seek help—and where to find it

If you're experiencing grief due to an impending loss, support is available—and it can make all the difference.

Let’s talk about it together.

What Is Anticipatory Grief?

Anticipatory grief is the kind of grief that begins before a loss actually happens. You may feel it when a loved one is facing a terminal illness, receiving end-of-life care, or nearing the end of their journey in hospice. It’s the ache of knowing someone you care about is slipping away—and already beginning to feel a sense of that future absence.

Unlike conventional grief, which begins after the death of a loved one, anticipatory grief happens while they are still here. You’re caught in a painful in-between space—grieving, but also caregiving, loving, and trying to hold onto the present.

Anyone may experience anticipatory grief, especially:

Family members or close friends of someone facing an impending death
Caregivers and carers of people with dementia, cancer, or progressive life-limiting illnesses
Spouses and children preparing for funeral arrangements or advance care planning
Professionals like nurses, social workers, or psychologists who witness decline often

You might experience feelings of loss, sadness, anger, guilt, or even a sense of relief—especially if your loved one is suffering. These feelings associated with anticipatory grief are normal, and naming them can help you come to terms with what’s happening.

Understanding what you’re feeling now can actually help you prepare for what’s next—with more compassion, clarity, and support. Let’s explore this together.

Anticipatory Grief Symptoms to Look Out For

If you’re navigating anticipatory grief, you may be feeling all kinds of things—some expected, some surprising. Just like any type of grief, it affects your emotions, body, thoughts, and behaviors. And while the loss of a loved one hasn’t happened yet, your brain and body may already be reacting as if it has.

Here are some common symptoms of anticipatory grief to help you understand what you’re feeling and why it matters.

Emotional Symptoms

These may come in waves, or linger beneath the surface:

Anxiety about what’s to come or what life will be like after the loss occurs
Irritability or short temper, even with people you love
Deep sadness, guilt, or even numbness
A confusing sense of relief, especially if a loved one is suffering

Additional Reading: You might also want to read about Anger and Grief: It’s Ok to Be Mad.

Physical Symptoms

Your body often reflects your feelings of grief, even when you don’t realize it:

Fatigue or exhaustion
Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
Changes in appetite—eating more or not at all

Cognitive Symptoms

Trouble focusing or making decisions
Constant worry, racing thoughts, or imagining what life will be like after the person dies

Behavioral Changes

Withdrawing from others or isolating
Over-functioning (trying to stay busy to avoid feelings)
Feeling restless, like you can’t settle

Recognizing your symptoms is a first step. You’re not “too emotional” or “getting ahead of yourself”—you’re human. And you don’t have to go through this alone.

There are ways to cope, and support is available when you’re ready.

How to Deal with Anticipatory Grief: Practical and Compassionate Support

When you're nearing the end of life with someone you love, it’s easy to feel like you’re walking a tightrope—caring, grieving, holding it together. This type of loss is incredibly complex. But there are supportive, realistic ways to manage anticipatory grief and begin grieving the loss in a healthy, human way.

Here are a few things I often share with clients navigating this space:

1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling

The first step is naming your feelings—whether it's sadness, fear, anger, guilt, or even numbness. All of it is part of the grieving process, even if the loss hasn't happened yet. Research shows that simply identifying and labeling emotions can reduce their intensity.

2. Connect with Your Loved One (If Possible)

Anticipatory grief can help you be more intentional in the time you have. Try:

Having meaningful conversations
Sharing memories or old photos
Addressing any unfinished business with compassion

These moments may later serve as comfort.

3. Take Care of Yourself as a Caregiver or Carer

Being a caregiver during this time is both a gift and a burden. Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. Try:

Setting boundaries
Asking others for help
Getting rest when you can

A 2017 review emphasized how essential emotional support is for caregivers facing bereavement.

4. Talk It Out

It’s common to feel guilt or even shame for feeling grief “too soon.” You’re not broken—you’re just human. Support groups, trusted friends, and therapy are vital tools to help prepare emotionally. Talking can reduce isolation and bring relief.

5. Create Rituals or Acts of Meaning

Rituals can transform feeling sad into something grounding. Consider:

Journaling
Making a photo album or video
Creating a legacy project together

These acts give shape to your love and grief—two things that often go hand in hand.

Additional Reading: Learn more about Coping Mechanisms in Grief: Small Steps That Make a Big Difference.

You don’t have to do it all alone. And you don’t have to have it all figured out. Gentle steps count, too.

When to Seek Professional Support to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

While anticipatory grief is a natural response to an impending loss, sometimes the weight of it can become too heavy to carry on your own. People experience anticipatory grief in different ways—there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline or rulebook. But if the symptoms are overwhelming, that’s a sign it may be time to reach out.

Here are a few signs that extra support could be helpful:

You feel stuck in constant sadness, dread, or bargaining
You’re having difficulty functioning at work or in your relationships
You’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, or despair
You feel emotionally numb or completely detached
You’re avoiding any thoughts or conversations about the impending loss

Therapy isn't just for after the loss happens. It can be incredibly grounding before, helping you understand anticipatory grief, process your emotions, and explore ways to cope with whatever comes next.

Additional Reading: This might also help - Grief: When Should I Reach Out?

There’s nothing weak about asking for help. In fact, it takes courage. It means you care deeply—and want to be emotionally present for yourself and those you love.

If you're navigating difficult decisions, heavy emotions, or even the legal or financial stress that comes with end-of-life care, you don’t have to do it all alone. Therapy can be a space to breathe, reflect, and feel human again.

Let’s normalize reaching out. You deserve that kind of support.

Let’s Walk Through This Together—Support for Grief, Before and After Loss

If you're feeling the weight of grief—whether it's from a recent loss or the slow, painful process of anticipatory grief—please know you're not alone. I’ve worked with many people navigating these emotions, and I understand how overwhelming it can be, especially when the loss may still be ahead.

In our work together, I offer a space where all your emotions are welcome—sadness, confusion, anger, and even moments of relief. There's no "right way" to grieve, and therapy isn’t just for “after.” Sometimes, the hardest part is reaching out—and I’m here when you’re ready.

Whatever you're carrying, we can walk through it together—with compassion, care, and a path forward. Get in touch!

Preparing for a Loss: How to Cope with the Emotions of Anticipatory Grief

What Is Anticipatory Grief?